Lonely

It's amazing how lonely one can feel even when surrounded by tons of people I feel lonely, almost empty inside at times. I guess I'm starting to realize the hardest part of being separated. It's the loneliness you feel by not having the touch of that person. After being with the same woman for 7 1/2 years, i guess you grow so accustom to their touch that being away from her is very hard. It's something that can't be filled by friends or family no matter how hard they try. Its the softness of her skin or the way it feels to hug and be hugged by her. That is by biggest problem right now is missing that touch. We always had great difficulties in our marriage and had way to many rough patches... It always seemed like we could never catch a break and even when it was close something would fall through, but through all of that we always had each other. Now going through the most difficult time in our lives and marriage it's very odd that even though we try to be there for each other it's not the same. There is a lack of trust between the both of us that has never existed before. I want us to be able to work through all of this and for this to be one of those experiences that makes us stronger together. I understand some of her lack of trust in me as I have said some very hurtful things to her during the past four months and would take it all back if I could. Because it is never right for someone to treat the person they love the way i treated her no matter what the cause. I'm tired of being lonely, tired of spending every night longing for her touch, tired of feeling away that everyone says they understand but truly don't.... I'm also tired of being hurtful and being hurt.... I'm just really tired and lonely......